Hey.

It’s been 26 years today. At this point I honestly can’t even remember much about you. I have that answering machine tape with your voice and it wasn’t what I was expecting for your voice, I’ve got photos of you but with this much time passed it just feels like another random stranger I’m looking at. I still get incredibly sad when I think about your passing, especially in light of information that was confirmed to me last year. You see… I’m not a Mercer. I’m not your biological son…

As it would turn out my father is a man called Ed Snyder of Fort Wayne, born Eduard Schlegel of Bavaria. They have these services where you spit in a tube and send it off, they sequence the DNA and then match you with others that have done the same. I did that via two services and… yeah. I matched Ed as a father/son match on one of the two platforms and when he realized what it was saying he blocked all contact with me.

On my birthday last year I was laid off while out to lunch with my wife. Shortly after I sent a letter to Ed just wanting to know some stuff about his parents so I could start doing the genealogy for my “new” family and understand more about where I came from. He reached out to mom telling her that he “wanted no contact with me” because I would “ruin things with his wife and kids”. So I’m not your biological son, and you are 26 years in the grave, and I am his biological son but he can’t even be bothered to tell me about his other children so I might know my other half-siblings. I’ve managed to identify one I believe, and watch their career from a distance because it is the best that I can do. I could message and explain the situation but I’ll respect his wishes until I see an obituary for him.

What really gets me is he’s a Master Mason like us, it looks like he was raised much later though - in 2008 and he went York Rite like I did too. I don’t want to disrupt his life, I don’t want money or missed love or anything, I just want to know more about where I came from and for my other siblings to know I exist. I believe he arrived here by boat with his mother on January 8th, 1953 as that’s what the immigration record I found records. It’s funny we always called my one eyebrow the “Jack Mercer eyebrow” in hindsight, especially since I look quite a bit like Ed:

While you may not be my biological father, you were there for just shy of 13 years of my life. I mourned you for 25, assuming you were my father; I’ve mourned you for another year, wondering if you still accept me as yours. Hopefully, when we meet again, on the other side of the veil, in that house not made with hands, eternal in the heavens you’ve processed everything and still accept me as some part of you. I still keep a photo of you in my office and dining room.

Until next year Mark,

-Your… stepson :/

My genetic ancestry as per ancestry.com:

Asia South <1%
Europe West 75% (Primarily located in: Belgium, France, Germany, Netherlands, Switzerland, Luxembourg, Liechtenstein)
Great Britain 7%
Ireland 5%
Iberian Peninsula 4%
Scandinavia 3%
Italy/Greece 3%
Europe East 1%
Pacific Islander <1%
Trace Regions <1%
Polynesia <1%

September 22, 2021 update: Ancestry.com has provided a new Ethnicity Estimate

England & Northwestern Europe 40%

Scotland 24%

Germanic Europe 19%

Sweden & Denmark 13%

9-22-2021 Ancestry.com Ethnicity Estimate

My genetic ancestry as per 23andme.com:

Ancestry Composition tells you what percent of your DNA comes from each of 31 populations worldwide. The analysis includes DNA you received from all of your ancestors, on both sides of your family. The results reflect where your ancestors lived 500 years ago, before ocean-crossing ships and airplanes came on the scene.

British & Irish 38.5% French & German 9.5% Scandinavian 7.7% Broadly Northern European 34% Balkan 1% Iberian 0.7% Italian 0.3% Sardinian .2% Broadly Southern European 3.3% Broadly European 4.9% West African 0.1%

UPDATE 12/15/2015:

23andme.com updated their algorithm

British & Irish 39.4%
French & German 9.6%
Scandinavian 7.8%
Broadly Northern European 33.2%
Balkan 1%
Iberian 0.7%
Italian 0.4%
Sardinian .2%
Broadly Southern European 3.1%
Broadly European 4.4%
West African 0.1%

My Neanderthal ancestry as per 23andme... I have 281 Neanderthal variants out of 2872 tested for. which puts my DNA at less than 4% Neanderthal. I have 0 Neanderthal variants associated with straighter hair, reduced tendency to sneeze after eating dark chocolate, less back hair and height.

The following is information generated from 23andme in regards to my sample. While the presence of a variant is not indicative that I will develop that trait/disorder/etc the possibility is there if the right combination of genes expressive themselves in a way as to bring about that trait.

Nonsyndromic Hearing Loss and Deafness, DFNB1 (GJB2-Related) NO NEARING LOSS
Lactose Intolerance Likely tolerant CONFIRMED
Saturated Fat and Weight Likely to weigh more on a high saturated fat diet UNKNOWN
Asparagus Odor Detection 61% chance can smell CONFIRMED
Bitter Taste 51% chance can taste CONFIRMED
Sweet Taste 66% chance prefers salty CONFIRMED
Alcohol Flush Reaction Unlikely to flush CONFIRMED
Caffeine Consumption Likely consumes more CONFIRMED, CAFFEINE TOLERANT
Sleep Movement Likely more movement during sleep CONFIRMED
Deep Sleep Less likely a deep sleeper CONFIRMED, LIGHT SLEEPER
Back Hair 25% chance a lot of upper back hair CONFIRMED, UPPER BACK HAIR
Cheek Dimples 57% chance no dimple FALSE, HAVE CHEEK DIMPLES
Cleft Chin 71% chance no cleft chin CONFIRMED
Earwax Type 93% chance wet earwax CONFIRMED
Eye Color 65% chance darker eyes CONFIRMED
Finger Length Ratio 23% chance index finger longer, 77% chance ring finger longer CONFIRMED, RING FINGER LONGER
Freckles 61% chance little freckling CONFIRMED
Hair Curliness 28% chance curly, 72% chance straight or wavy CONFIRMED
Light or Dark Hair 56% chance dark CONFIRMED
Photic Sneeze Reflex 52% chance no photic sneeze reflex CONFIRMED
Skin Pigmentation 96% chance lighter skin CONFIRMED, TANS DARK THOUGH
Unibrow 91% chance little or no unibrow CONFIRMED, A FEW STRAY HAIRS
Widow's Peak 67% chance no widow's peak FALSE, HAVE WIDOW'S PEAK