(no subject)

in
A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon. As she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethescope and listened to the bird's chest. After a moment or two, the vet shook his head sadly and said, "I'm so sorry, your duck, Cuddles, has passed away."
The distressed owner wailed, "Are you sure?"
"Yes. I am sure. The duck is dead," he replied.
"How can you be so sure?" she protested. "I mean, you haven't done any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something."
The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room and returned a few moments later with a black Labrador Retriever. As the duck's owner looked on in amazement, the dog stoff on his hind legs, put his front paws on the examination table and sniffed the duck from top to bottom. He then looked at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head. The vet patted the dog and took it out, and returned a fe moments later with a cat. The cat jumped up on the table and also sniffed delicately at the bird from head to foot. THe cat sat back on its haunces, shook its head, meowed softly and stroleed out of the room. The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry, but as I said, this is most deffinately, 100% certifiably, a dead duck." The vet then turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a bill, which he handed to the woman.
The duck's owner, still in shock, took the bill. "$150?!" she qustioned, "$150 just to tell me my duck is dead?"
The vet shrugged. "I'm sorry. If you'd taken my word for it, the bill would have been $20, but with the lab report and the cat scan, it's now $150."

(no subject)

in
A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon. As she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethescope and listened to the bird's chest. After a moment or two, the vet shook his head sadly and said, "I'm so sorry, your duck, Cuddles, has passed away."
The distressed owner wailed, "Are you sure?"
"Yes. I am sure. The duck is dead," he replied.
"How can you be so sure?" she protested. "I mean, you haven't done any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something."
The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room and returned a few moments later with a black Labrador Retriever. As the duck's owner looked on in amazement, the dog stoff on his hind legs, put his front paws on the examination table and sniffed the duck from top to bottom. He then looked at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head. The vet patted the dog and took it out, and returned a fe moments later with a cat. The cat jumped up on the table and also sniffed delicately at the bird from head to foot. THe cat sat back on its haunces, shook its head, meowed softly and stroleed out of the room. The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry, but as I said, this is most deffinately, 100% certifiably, a dead duck." The vet then turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a bill, which he handed to the woman.
The duck's owner, still in shock, took the bill. "$150?!" she qustioned, "$150 just to tell me my duck is dead?"
The vet shrugged. "I'm sorry. If you'd taken my word for it, the bill would have been $20, but with the lab report and the cat scan, it's now $150."

(no subject)

in
A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon. As she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethescope and listened to the bird's chest. After a moment or two, the vet shook his head sadly and said, "I'm so sorry, your duck, Cuddles, has passed away."
The distressed owner wailed, "Are you sure?"
"Yes. I am sure. The duck is dead," he replied.
"How can you be so sure?" she protested. "I mean, you haven't done any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something."
The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room and returned a few moments later with a black Labrador Retriever. As the duck's owner looked on in amazement, the dog stoff on his hind legs, put his front paws on the examination table and sniffed the duck from top to bottom. He then looked at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head. The vet patted the dog and took it out, and returned a fe moments later with a cat. The cat jumped up on the table and also sniffed delicately at the bird from head to foot. THe cat sat back on its haunces, shook its head, meowed softly and stroleed out of the room. The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry, but as I said, this is most deffinately, 100% certifiably, a dead duck." The vet then turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a bill, which he handed to the woman.
The duck's owner, still in shock, took the bill. "$150?!" she qustioned, "$150 just to tell me my duck is dead?"
The vet shrugged. "I'm sorry. If you'd taken my word for it, the bill would have been $20, but with the lab report and the cat scan, it's now $150."

(no subject)

in
"You may remember Greg Smith from numerous TV appearances a few years back. He finished college at 13.
"I believe that all of us are here for a special purpose and that is to learn," Smith has said.
Now 16, Smith is more intense than ever, studying for four doctorates — in math, aerospace engineering, international relations and biomedical research. He has been nominated twice for the Nobel Peace Prize and travels the world promoting nonviolence. "
I hate people like Greg Smith, Michael Kearney, Theodore Kaczynski(unabomber) and other such prodigies.

(no subject)

in
"You may remember Greg Smith from numerous TV appearances a few years back. He finished college at 13.
"I believe that all of us are here for a special purpose and that is to learn," Smith has said.
Now 16, Smith is more intense than ever, studying for four doctorates — in math, aerospace engineering, international relations and biomedical research. He has been nominated twice for the Nobel Peace Prize and travels the world promoting nonviolence. "
I hate people like Greg Smith, Michael Kearney, Theodore Kaczynski(unabomber) and other such prodigies.

(no subject)

in
"You may remember Greg Smith from numerous TV appearances a few years back. He finished college at 13.
"I believe that all of us are here for a special purpose and that is to learn," Smith has said.
Now 16, Smith is more intense than ever, studying for four doctorates — in math, aerospace engineering, international relations and biomedical research. He has been nominated twice for the Nobel Peace Prize and travels the world promoting nonviolence. "
I hate people like Greg Smith, Michael Kearney, Theodore Kaczynski(unabomber) and other such prodigies.

(no subject)

in
"You may remember Greg Smith from numerous TV appearances a few years back. He finished college at 13.
"I believe that all of us are here for a special purpose and that is to learn," Smith has said.
Now 16, Smith is more intense than ever, studying for four doctorates — in math, aerospace engineering, international relations and biomedical research. He has been nominated twice for the Nobel Peace Prize and travels the world promoting nonviolence. "
I hate people like Greg Smith, Michael Kearney, Theodore Kaczynski(unabomber) and other such prodigies.